Crying, alone
On the brink of forgetting
Yet never reaching that point

Shattering pain, coming from an unknown place
Hurt
Curling inside of me, staying away from you
All of you
Trying to replace my brokeness with secure walls

Fumbling to move on, never moving on
Just here, here crying
Pain
Immense pain
Sufficating my existence

Torn, broken, soiled
Not wanted
Forgotten by you, all of you
Not asking why
Just assuming


Fragile
Managing
Completely ignoring
Subside

Mental Ward
Locked up
Tears descending
Cold, lying on the floor

Waiting, no escaping

Pondeirng my existence
My self worth, nothing
White fading into a crimson

Seeing the inflictions of my past
Seeping out of the bandage
Unraveling the last threads of my dignity

Passed out, waking up
White halls, lights flickering
Everyone is the same
Lost all they were,
Now a nothingless pit of insanity

Wondering along
Dazed, no longer knowing who I am
Family gone, no longer recognizing me

Patiently hoping, but facing my misery
Closed off, lights out

White walls, sheets
Red licking through my bandage
Staining all this normalcy
Deluting your acceptence
Paining your existence

Crushed
Always thinking of you
Don't even need to try

Your there in my mind
Sleeping, waking

The days are normal
The dreams, however, not

Wanting one to flow in the other
Being crushed

PAIN
Never knowing your acceptance
Hiding in my own skin
Wanting not to be hurt
Safety never found

Wanting you to want me
But afraid of the pain
Unrecognizable to who you are

A scar formed, healing but always there
Touching it only reminds me
I'm still afraid of being scared

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Vivid imagination
Warped to discover

Illusions will now suffice
Painting my world

Uncovering the beauty underneath
Washing away the past

Watching a mystery
Being exposed in the light

Seeing a new beauty
A perspective found

Master
Bowing to your cruelty
Crying from your control

Accepting what you give
Never asking for more

Pain seeping in
Subserviant to your actions

Clueless to my wants
Just call you my master

My own god

A poem for Jiblet's kinky mood
Biting you, biting me
Craving, unleashed pleasure

Tasting pain
Blood on my lips

Licking, liking
Forceful

Craving
Biting

Unfolded
Huddled in a corner
Crying

Blankly sitting here
Letting the emotions flow

Captivated by my own misery
Wanting to bask in the unraveling

Maybe this will be it

Free from burden
Exhuastion hoping to pass

Learning there is more
No longer in my past

Now, forever now
Forgetting

Waking Before You
In the morning
Roll over
See you lying there

Smile
Warmth breathed in
Curling into you

Wishing for this moment not to end
Seeing the light play in your blonde hair

The hollows under yours eyes
Wanting to wash it away
Kiss your forehead, not wanting to disturb

Head to chest
Heart beating
A melodic rhythm

Rock me back to sleep

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Clasping your hand
Down my back
Holding tight

Passion, never forgetting
Waiting
Fever, racing impatiently

Over, under, always exposed
Twisted, wanton thoughts
Craving, tasting the thrill

Delicious
Tongue to hip
Swaying into ecstacy
Lips upon my sign

Mouth open, exhale
Rolling into hands
Leaning back

Teasing, taunting
Tongue playing upon my skin
Leaving a delicious trail

Up to my shoulder,
Now to my lips
Tasting your sweetness

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Fragile, yet not broken
Moving along at my own pace

Trying to break past the boundries
Looking for life beyond all this

Frozen in place
Sufficating in others wishes

Placing their thoughts
Above my own

Used to often
But never spelling defeat

Moments sat pondering
Wondering if this is true

Waiting patiently
Accepting my own destiny

This would be it

Disillusion
In and out
Farther away I go
Time never healing
A face never seen
Guarded fortress
Me

Morning
Sweetness of the flesh
Heart swallowing me whole
Wishing, hoping, never spoken outloud
In the moment, no tomorrow now
Lips to lips, hand to hand
Connection
Laughter and seduction
A combination of what I am, you are
Turbulent movements, frenzied emotions
Waking up, close my eyes, remembering
Feel for him, never there

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Emotional trust
Waiting in my silent misery
Flesh to flesh
No hope in convincing
Raving, hurt, away
Straining to hear my heart beat
Frozen in time, a mystery unknown to you
My history never exposed
Tenderly rendering myself of fear