We all got past the past
Though we still hold on to tender pieces
The ones that make us smile
You remember those, don't you?
If you don't, I'm sorry
Those will be my memories for this and my next life time
Moments no camera can capture
Despite all the pain, it can't wash it out of my head
The smiles, the laughter
The long drawn out talks
Not wanting it to end
But realizing in the end, it all came for a reason
Making me who I am
Making me what I eventually will become
For better, for worse
Memories for my lifetime
Childhood thoughts, wismical dillusions
Not wanting to let them go
Not going to, if only holding on in the mind's eye
Friends, lovers, strangers that made a connection
Something to me
You don't remember some, and some I too forgot
Holding on to whats left
Remembering abscure not so important things
Making though the most impact on my heart
Kindness never forgot
This is who I am now
The past not in the past
The future held in my hands

To feel the wind under my fingertips
Weaving through and around
Soaring, though still on the ground
Looking over to my side to see your smile
Beautiful it is, so bright against your shadowed skin
The night lights pass in and out
Letting me see your eyes flickering in my direction
The acceleration pushing us faster towards our destination
Though were not quite sure where that is
Down the winding roads, the night sky so brilliant
Finally reaching a point were its clear, only the heavens watching down

Will you let me go
Saying good bye to the times we once shared
The happiness once felt so easily
Now turned into an ackward feeling of what was had
Knowing the potential but never taking the step towards it
Watching as it slowly fades to a dismall story to tell in the future
The what could of beens, the what what should of beens
All the same now
Saying goodbye, walking away for the final time
The last show was scene, the curtains are drawn
The make up washed away
All that is left is me
Accepting the inevitable, a hope that seemed to wash away
The salt from the tears never letting the wound heal
Though in due time a scar will form
Another story too tell, a moment to remember
A memory formed before we realized the snap shot was taken
Us unexpectedly exposed

The frailty of who I am lies with in your hands
Do with it as you please
I'm transixed with who you are
An uncommon thing for me
Comfort is in our grasp, a bond never spoken
Called upon, never needing to ask
True friendship come and go
Ours forever the same
Shifting ever so gently with the changes that pass
Growing up, growing apart, binds that still tie
Holding us tight
Seperate worlds, common ground
Grounding each other in the places we stay
Holding each other to our hopes and dreams
Never letting one forget, not allow for each other to grow away from the person we want to be

"Sparatic love"
I hear your voice and it swallows me up
A tingle through out my body, straight down to my feet
It makes me wanna go Ohh ohhh ohhh all through the night
It's that sweet saddens that sings, filling me whole
A comparision of no comparision can tell you how i feel
A lovely madness, disguised as temptation

"my religious fix"
A sacreligious worshipping of your body
An adonis in my eyes
No flaws stand before me
The way I see you
Nothing can compare
A twitch of a smile
Melting deep inside
A sacreligous worshipping of your body
Nothing can compare

"Growth"
Once a girl, now a women
Hips widened, mind grew
Balancing act inside of me
Not wanting to let go
No choice, but to move on
Growing up
Letting go of the girl i once knew
Seeing her in my memories
Wondering how she has been
Looking forward to the woman i will become
Becoming her when I wasn't looking

"Here I am now"
There once was a time when I was anew
Grew from a child into passion
Fell abroad, mind scattered, lost in this new feeling
Gave into the comfort
A firm belief that there was hope was found
Lost though in a quick second
Broken hearted, trust yanked away from my fingertips
A newer version of me was found
Alone I stand now, on my own wondering if it will be okay
Accepting the inevitable in this confused mind
Loosening my grip and letting go for the final time

I'm tired of being the girl taken for granted
I'm tired of being the girl often forgotten
Breath a little deeper
Scream a little louder
I'm tired of being the girl you call upon for help
I'm tired of being of being the girl who you leave out
Breath a little deeper
Scream a little louder
I'm tired of being the girl who you use
I'm tired of being the girl often confused
Breath a little deeper
Scream a little louder
I'm going to be the girl thats okay
I'm going to be the girl that'll be happy one day

"Mourning"
My hand fit snuggly between yours
Fingers intertwined to lock us together
Not letting go
Sweet lingering kisses
Eyes closed to slits to open to your knowing eyes
Revealing myself with out a word spoke
For you knew
Curled into you, snug to your body
Dreams are known at your side
A whisper to wake me
Remembering its mourning

"Life as we live it"
Bound to our madness
Not letting go of the constent nonsense
Ringings, buzzes, an assualt of my ears
No escaping, forever waking
Won't know sleep in the chaotic life we live
Maintianing the constent mundane
Never changing, longing for something more
More to never come
This is it, our acceptence
Life as we know it, life as we live

"Surrogate Fuck"
Looming over me
Legs open for your entrence
I'm your surrogate fuck
I know it's not me you see
You long for her and I know this
Yet I lay here waiting patiently:
For you to come
For you to realize its me you want
I give into my bodies aches
A need, nothing more
I want you to want me
Even if its as her
You kiss me
I coy smile across my lips
I know your secret
One you don't even realize
Your looking for her
But I'll be your surrogate fuck

"Earth Mother"
Beloved mother
She is the carrier of all my sin
She wipes the tears from my children
Only to smile that sweet smile
All knowing but never giving her secrets away
She holds me in my slumber
Her whispers awake me from my sleep
A kiss, a soul-filled kiss fills my lungs
She gives me the air I need
The ground to hold my feet
An everything amongst in all
Our earth mother she is
A constent in our distress
A warm hand laid upon our hearts
Calling us back home in times we forget

"Growth"
Once a girl, now a women
Hips widened, mind grew
Balancing act inside of me
Not wanting to let go
No choice, but to move on
Growing up
Letting go of the girl i once knew
Seeing her in my memories
Wondering how she has been
Looking forward to the woman i will become
Becoming her when I wasn't looking

I stand here alone
Everyones walked away
Looking for myself
Not knowing who I am

Breathing, inhale deep
Expell the feelings of despair
Not knowing what to do
Needing to start somewhere

Is that somewhere here
Questions only loom
Answers never found

Searching up and down
Forgetting to look with in myself
Absolution, the realization can't be found

A continuation, growing with my life
Ever changing, ever present
Re-evolving, sometime moving 2 steps back

Tentative steps up and down this ladder of life
Stumbling through, not knowing anything permanent
Knowing what is now

The sacred feminine destroyed
A vessel of hope taken by soiled hands
Mother earth shattered, polluted by something tainted

Twas a child, now a women
Ashamed of my goddess with in
She was beauty, motherhood, life itself

Now silenced
Never to whisper her story
To wither away, never to blossom
A life never found